Mike Hughes on TV

So I'm reminded of the guy who inherited a grandfather clock. The best plan, he decided, was to carry it to his apartment one night.

As he was lugging it along, a drunk passed him. "Hey buddy," the drunk said. "Why don't you just get a watch?"

That came to mind recently, during a typically odd moment at the Television Critics Association sessions in Los Angeles.

The housekeeper was busy in my hotel room, so I retreated to another spot, bringing my portable DVD player and a new Cartoon Network series. It turned out to be a good show; I was still watching it on the way back to the room.

As it happened, there was an international tourist in the elevator, staring at me. Now I'm sure he's telling people that American guys are crazy. Instead of simply using an I-pod, they go up and down in elevators, watching "Powerpuff Girls."

"Take it easy," one character says in the Jan. 28 "Lost" episode. "I can explain myself a little better."

Or maybe not. He's been leaping back and forth over a 50-year time continuum. That's not easy to explain.

"It is a big of a mine field to do time-travel," producer Carlton Cuse told us today. "But it's rewarding."

He's right on both counts. Watching this show -- when everything can change with a flash of light -- is hugely perplexing and hugely worth the trouble. I've seen the first three hours (9-11 p.m. Jan. 21, 9 p.m. Jan. 28) and I found them fascinating and fun ... even when I didn't understand them.

The alternative, said co-creator Damon Lindelof, was to continue in the kind of stalled-plot approach of the first half of season three. "It was trending toward a path of complete and utter suckiness."

So they changed, chose an end date (one more season after this one) and sped the plot up.

It's moving so fast now that your head might explode if you overthink things. "The people who like this show are the ones who just go along with the journey," Cuse said.

Try it that way. It's a REALLY fun trip. 

The sets for some TV dramas offer grit and grime. Things are muddied, to seem realistic.

Don't expect any of that on the "CSI" set. "This isn't a police station or an ER," said Louis Milito, one of the show's producers. "These people are scientists."

Scientists like neat and clean. That's how the "CSI" set looks.

I visited it the other day, as part of the Television Critics Association tour. In other blogs, I'll talk about other sets -- "Trust Me," "The Mentalist," "Big Bang Theory" and the Peach Pit from "90210."

The original "CSI" design was sort of sandy-drab, Milito said, but then Jerry Bruckheimer, the show's executive producer, intervened. "He wanted slick and shiny."

He got what he wanted; he tends to. The walls -- deep green and bluish grey -- look like they'd been painted yesterday. They always do, apparently.

Inside those rooms are modern machines. Some are just shells, said producer-writer Richard Catalani, but most can function. "The people where I used to work wish they could have these when we're done with them."

He spent 16 years with the Los Angeles County investigation unit. However, "CSI" portrays a better-funded one in  Las Vegas.

The show gets new attention now, because Laurence Fishburne is stepping in as its star. He was introduced in an episode that reruns at about 8:15 p.m. (after the presidential address) Thursday (Jan. 15) on CBS; in a pretty good episode at about 9:15, he steps in and William Petersen departs.

Fishburne brings an imposing presence, said actress Liz Vassey. "But he looks you straight in the eye and asks about you."

Of course, many guys look Vassey, who's 5-foot-9 and very impressive, in the eye.

What she found intimidating was playing a corpse in one episode filled with dream scenes. "I was the worst corpse ever," she said.

At least, she got to do it in a slick-and-shiny place. In fact, Catalani said one piece of scientific equipment is worth $100,000; another is worth $500,000.

I resisted the temptation to steal either one. TV people get very picky about that, I'm told.

An Ozzy Osbourne interview is fun, in its own odd way.

There was Ozzy on stage with his wife Sharon and two of their kids, Kelly and Jack. They were talking about their upcoming variety show, which Fox's Mike Darnell describes as "fun raunch."

Often, Sharon had to repeat questions in Ozzy's ear. The hearing loss came from decades of rock 'n' roll, his kids said.

But the stories were worth the trouble. Sharon said she had just returned to the U.S. the night before and met someone grumbling about one woman's comments about Ozzy:

"The immigration officer said ..., 'How dare
she say that about our Ozzy.
Everybody adores Ozzy.'”

That's when Ozzy piped up: "Why didn’t everybody adore me when I was pissed drunk all the time?"

Sharon shrugged. "You see how he hears what he
wants to? That’s very convenient. He has selective
hearing."

Until now, I'd been feeling so-so about this TV season. Still wobbling from the strike, networks have had weak line-ups.

Now, however, there's good news: Fox is on a roll.

Some of that was expected. "24" had a terrific debut Sunday and Monday (Jan. 11-12); "American Idol" is off to a good start tonight (Tuesday, Jan. 13, see the preview/review in my previous blog).

But that's just the start. I've just seen three of Fox's mid-season hours. Each is fresh, bracing, well-made and -- this is the good part -- really original. They are:

-- "Dollhouse," in which Joss Whedon ("Buffy") has crafted a wondrous showcase for Eliza Dushku. She plays an open vessel, someone who continually has her own memories wiped out and is given a personality melded from others. The opener requires a huge coincidence, but we'll forgive that. This is a fascinating hour, both visually and in Dushku's wide-ranging performance.

-- "Lie to Me," in which Tim Roth plays an expert on the body language of truth and lies. This gets creepy at times, but pulls viewers into an engaging mental journey, "House"-style.

-- And my favorite, "Glee."

You really don't expect a drama about a high school glee club, but this has been pulled off with the style and flair of "Pushing Daisies."

It also has a bonus -- a chance for Tony-nominated singers to become Fox stars. Matthew Morrison ("Light on the Piazza") plays the teacher; Lea Michele ("Spring Awakening") is his star student.

Both play immensely likable people who sing pop tunes . They do it beautifully, but the show also adds wonderful detours -- including one school doing a cheery, chirpy, glee-club version of "Rehab."

Moments like that add to a show that already had my attention.  For the rest of this season, Fox will be be fun to watch.

 uf