New Year's eve madness

There's something about New Year's Eve and New Year's Day that make us want to blow it all. It's the perfect time to lose money, relationships, sobriety and sanity. Or to just break bones.

That's the way the Knievels do it. On Jan. 1, 1968, Evel jumped his motorcycle over a Las Vegas fountain; he promptly broke a lot of bones. Just after midnight on Wednesday, his son Robbie Knievel will celebrate the moment by leaping over a Las Vegas volcano.

Hey, family traditions are important.

That's part of the expanding nature of TV's New Year's Eve. Each year, things have to be a little bigger, a little less taped-in-advance.

In fact, two networks -- Fox and ESPN -- will have live motorcycle jumps. It's all part of the holiday spirit, explains Fox producer Jeff Androsky.  "You go: 'It's midnight, here's a kiss, let's see if the guy kills himself.'"

Well, not all holidays are equally sentimental.

Anyway, if you flip over to the "TV columns" part, you can catch an overview of New Year's Eve on TV. Here's another version, chronolgically by starting time. All of this is Wednesday, ET:

Starts at 8 p.m.:
-- "A Miley-Sized Surprise," to 9:30 p.m., then 10:30 to midnight, MTV. Miley Cyrus gives a surprise concert in a fan's home; also, Metro Station, All Time Low, Kevin Rudolf and The Academy Is ...

Start at 10 p.m.:
-- "New Year's Eve With Carson Daly," to 11 p.m.; then 11:30 p.m. to 12:35 a.m., NBC. Includes Ludacris, Katy Perry, the Ting Tings, T.I. and Elton John.
-- "New Year's Rockin' Eve," to 11 p.m., then 11:30 p.m. to 1:08 a.m. and 1:08-2:17 a.m., ABC. Natasha Bedingfield, Ne-Yo, Jesse McCartney, Fall Out Boy, Pussycat Dolls, Solange and Robin Thicke, plus the Jonases, Swift, Richie and Clark and Ryan Seacrest host at Times Square, Fergie at the party.
-- "U Party 2009," to 1 a.m., Fox News  Includes Chuck Wicks and LoCash Cowboys.

Start at 11 p.m.:
-- "New Year's Eve Live," to 12:30 a.m., Fox, Includes Daughtry, Cook, Weiland, Knievel and Lynyrd Skynyrd.
-- "New Year, No Limits," to 12:30 a.m., ESPN. Includes stunts by Robbie Maddison and Rhys Millen.
-- "New Year's Eve Live With Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin," to 1 a.m., CNN. Lil Wayne, Coolio, My Morning Jacket, Lynyrd Skynyrd, 3 Doors Down and Hinder.

That's just silly

Sometimes, a TV show can simply try too hard.

That came to mind last night, as I watched an upcoming "Bones." It doesn't air until Jan. 15, but let me grumble for a minute.

The case involves two circus performers who were killed. Everyone quickly rejected the forthright approach -- walk in, flash an FBI badge and ask questions. Instead ... well, the FBI painted up an old RV and Booth and Brennan developed a death-defying knife act; they also rode around in a motorcycle with a sidecar.

I'm really not well-informed on FBI technique, but I'm pretty sure flash-the-badge-and-ask-questions is preferred over develop-a-knife-act. The whole thing just seems too silly.

Shortly after watching this, I saw "Cinema's Exiles: From Hitler to Hollywood," a superb documentary coming to PBS on Jan. 1. In one burst, my faith in TV was restored. 

Dreaming of a what?

We've seen this in way too many movies:

People mope around, because they don't have any snow for Christmas. Then, at the last moment, the flakes descend. Faces light up, as if pure magic is emerging from the heavens.

Try to remember this: None of the people who make those movies were in Michigan this weekend, shoveling snow amid zillion-mile-an-hour winds that kept re-depositing everything right where it had been.

The words "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" were written in Florida and first performed in Southern California. I'm just saying.  


Blizzards and stay-at-home

Until today, I had no point of comparison. Now, however, I can tell you this as a fact: During a blizzard, stay-at-home is way better than go-to-work.

In the past, I was in a field that obsessed on getting it done, 365 days a year. During one blizzard, a colleague (Ute von der Heyden) spent more than a half-hour trying to rock her way out of the apartment-complex parking lot. "Lady, I don't know what your job is," one guy said,"but it must be important."

Well, newspapering isn't as important as, say, doctoring or policing. It does, however, demand your presence.

Jim Hough and the late Dick Frazier used to tell about the time they were the only ones to reach the newsroom after a storm. They got the paper out; unfortunately, there was no way to deliver it.

Once, I found myself wandering downtown, hoping to interview people trekking in the blizzard. I didn't find any heart-warming stories, but I did find a couple guys walking to a methadone clinic.

You get to work, mainly because that's what newspaper people do. But now I suddenly find myself not connected to a specific newspaper. This wasn't my choice, but I'm adapting by writing TV columns and stories for papers around the country.

It's pleasant work and at-home work. That last part was important today. I shoveled at leisure; I gradually got the snow away. I was in no hurry to go anywhere. I didn't choose it, but there are days when stay-at-home is kind of nice.




"Momma" trouble

By the end of tonight (Tuesday, Dec. 16), Khalood Bojanowski may be one of the most controversial women in Michigan. And that takes some doing.

She shows up on the debut of "Momma's Boys" (10 p.m., NBC) and lays down the rules about dating her son: "I don't want a Jewish girl or Muslim or Black. I can't have an Asian one. I can't have a fat-butt girl. I can't have a tall one."

That draws universal outrage from the young women who see this on tape. Misty Ally, 26, who is black, is pleased to see that even some of the frilliest (and whitest) women are appalled: "Even the dumbest person knows how ignorant that is."

Things don't get any better when Bojanowski arrives in person and defends her stand: "I have good friends who are black, but there are bad people out there ... I have a black godson ... I know half of the Detroit Lions and I love 'em."

The young women had already met her son, JoJo Bojanowski, and liked the guy. That was before they knew the momma.

The show has three men in a dating pool with 32 women. Each guy insists he's a "momma's boy" -- and each is supposed to get dating advice from his mom, who will be living with the women.

JoJo is 21 and a hockey star who has basically lived away from home since he was 16. He did well in junior hockey -- statistics show an eleven-game stretch in which he had eight goals and eight assists for the Toronto Thunderbirds -- and is now a sophomore forward at Nichols College, in Massachusetts, which is off to a 10-1 start. He seems like a fine lad, on ice or on land; his mom is another matter.

Khalood Bojanowski is from Basra, Iraq, but fled to the U.S. with her family when she was young. She makes her views clear:

"I can't have a Jewish girl, because I'm Catholic. I just can't see the white-and-black thing, so I cannot have a black one. I cannot accept my son JoJo to fall in love with an Asian girl; I just cannot.

"I cannot have a mixture at all. No mixture for my son. I just want a nice Catholic Girl who's not from a divorced family. I want her to cook, I want her to clean, to keep pretty. And she does what I tell her to." That prospect might not have many takers.